One last thought for the night...
The phrase "Don't take any wooden nickels."
Now obviously, this phrase originally meant "don't take counterfeit currency." But, seriously, who the fuck has EVER taken a wooden nickel that wasn't a complete and total retard? I mean, c'mon, I don't care what time in history, and what kinda metal a nickel was made out of at the time... you CAN NOT fucking tell me that a wooden nickel could EVER feel the same as a legit one! That's like taking a polyester dollar. Print what you want on it, it's still not gonna feel the same.