Tuesday, July 03, 2007

"Umbrella" by Rhianna... Why do I love it so?

Is it that ridiculously catchy hook of a chorus?

Is it that repetitive chord progression that somehow sounds fresh with each repetition?

Is it Jay-Z, upon knowing this song would be a hit, forcing himself into the beginning of it with a completely out of place rap, just to prove his corporate ass still should be considered "an artist?"

Or is it that part of the video where 19-year old hottie Rihanna does the naked Goldfinger chick thing, but in black and white, making her look silverish, shiny, and just plain awesome?

Before I get too far ahead of myself, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the song, and accompanying video (presented by Covergirl, as you'll see the second you click on the play icon... and don't forget to watch through to the end, to see Rhianna shill for her favorite lip gloss manufacturer!):

Okay, now let the song digest for a second. In fact, take a few minutes, go open another tab in your browser, do something else for a little while (like maybe read something of importance, as opposed to this blog, maybe the news or something... did you know Bush commuted Libby's sentence today? Will someone PLEASE give me a justifiable reason why our President isn't in jail for treason by now?). Once you're done with that, come on back here... and TELL ME THAT SONG ISN'T STILL STUCK IN YOUR HEAD.

Even if it's just one little piece, one little echo of the chorus ("-ella, -ella, ey, ey, ey"). Something repeating through your brain over and over, making you need to hear the song again, play it over and over. You can't tell me different.

Now, understand where I'm coming from... I, for the most part, HATE most music of the last 15 years or so. There are a few bands I like here and there, a few songs I enjoy, but for the most part, it's my opinion that modern music died when a.) Bush and Candlebox landed a one-two TKO punch to grunge and rock music in general, and b.) Michael Jackson got in trouble for child molestation the first time (yes, that long ago).

But now and then, someone creates a hit single, that, as far as I'm concerned, completely deserves to be a hit, and more so. Nelly did it a few years ago with "Hot In Here," as did Beyonce with "Crazy In Love" (another track that Jay-Z poked his nose into). Justin Timberlake did it with "Rock Your Body," and goddamn, Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" is still one of my favorites. Hell, even the recent "Fergalicious" by, who else, Fergie, is a kick ass track.

It's rare though, that I'm prompted to buy an album thanks to a single... after all, of all five songs I just listed, I can only think of one which belonged to an album that justifued purchase, and that was Gwen Stefani's (go figure, since I've never been into No Doubt). But Rhianna's song is so damn good that I went out and bought the album immediately. No speculation, no wait for a second single, no download of it from Soulseek before deciding to purchase... nope, I just went ahead and bought it. And guess what? It's a fantastic album! So fantastic I'm even gonna link to a purchase option right here, Good Girl Gone Bad by Rhianna, available in fine stores everywhere, and online in a few places.

Hell, it's so good that I'm willing to forget the fact that after finding the video for the song on YouTube, I soon after found this:

I mean, I understand the world of shilling for the man... christ, even the most respectable project that I've worked on, Big Ideas For A Small Planet, was still sponsored by Lexus (and I won't even begin to discuss how they stuck their noses into the episode about driving, suffice to say it was either as bad or worse as the writing in that Covergirl advert was). It's pretty much a given nowadays that the only way to get out in the public eye is by allowing corporate sponsorship to travel alongside (not that this is a new concept; didn't they used to sell cigarettes during the Mickey Mouse Club?).

Point is, the song is so good, I could care less about the sponsorship. Hell, I could care less about the fact that it's one of those songs that makes regular people think they can sing it:

Quick question aside... why is it that every single person who sings a pop song into their webcam for YouTube has to be shirtless, and so ridiculously gay that a flaming drag queen homosexual will look at them and say, "Goddamn, honeybuns, you are fucking gay!"? Is there a written rule that I didn't notice when I agreed to the rules and regulations for the site?

Anyways, back to the point... there's one other thing I love about this song, and that is, the fact that it's the rare pop song nowadays that's not about sex, or drugs, or partying, or bling... it's about friendship, and caring for another (and here are the lyrics, for whoever wants them). It's about loving a person so much as a friend, that you're happy to be there for them at any time. Maybe you were once an item, but you're not anymore, who cares? You're still there for that person who meant so much to you, no matter what. "And that's when you need me there, with you I'll always share..." something best friends would say to one another. It's sweet, it's innocent, it's lovely.

Unless of course, "umbrella" is a synonym for "vagina." In which case the song's about a pity fuck.

However, I can't imagine a girl willing to do that ever going so far as saying "come into me," and meaning it in that context. So yeah, we'll stick with the innocent subtext for now.

Although Rihanna is naked and silvery in the video... hmm...


Blogger gabby said...

i could prolly write as much of a long-winded rant about how much i truly despise this song & how much it broke my heart to know that someone with generally such a good ear for music has been sucked in by its trite pop shit...and also the fact you mentioned that pants wetting cum dumpster fergie as far as comparison...

ella ella ella EHHH.


god shoot me now.

this song is shit. rhianna shouldnt be accoladed for it, as she prolly didnt write the damn song, as 90% of pop stars in the industry dont, and besided, the song is about a pity fuck, pretty much.
"pickins is slim right now, baby, i guess youll do, no condoms needed."

12:18 PM  

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