Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Mayor of Disneyland pt. III, Sadly Not To Be...

Unfortunately it appears that I was a bit too late in the quest to mock the fuzzed-out trash can pic on Kimberly's website, because when I went to the site this morning to do an image capture, her new banner looked like this:

Now, Kimberly? it's nice that your webmaster finally changed the picture completely and all, but really, do you mean to tell me that you just CAN'T find a real picture of New Orleans anywhere?! I mean, look at this crap! It makes you look like a realtor!

Seriously Kimberly, the city of New Orleans has been around a couple hundred years longer than the camera has, I'm sure you could at least find SOMETHING to put in the background.

This, for example, is a lovely image from the real French Quarter. Sure, it's a ripped-off image, but at least it's from some random person's photo journal, not a giant corporate entity. It's a warm, caring image, sure to get you votes.

Of course, if you really want votes, I suggest you do something like this:

First off, this banner has boobs, which automatically wins you the male constituency. Secondly, it shows what most people's immediate first thought of New Orleans was, pre-Katrina. Third, you can use it as an in-joke.

"Look at that horrible smudge job done on the faces of the people in the photo!"

"Hah! Yeah, it's still not nearly as bad as that fucked-up smudge job on the trashcan! Nudge nudge, wink-wink... see how my self-depricating humor makes me personable?"

And the greatest thing about this last one... who's gonna sue?! You got a couple of stupid drunk chicks in the foreground, too embarrassed to ever own up to this picture... and in the background, a bunch of even dumber drunk dudes who couldn't give less of a shit where their faces end up online. Nothing to worry about.

Anyway, the point is, Kimberly, you're not selling houses for Century 21, you're running for mayor. And you've got less than a week left, so go, be daring, be risk-taking... go get some beads!


Blogger sassy little punkin said...

okay, this comment has nothing to do with kimberly.

sorry 'bout that.

but i just found your blog and felt i had to say: "hello old friend."

how the hell are you?

how's life been since i last knew you as the "presently erect" leader of the thespians, and cig smoking coffee bar trolling companion of the mid-90s?


12:46 PM  

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