Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I am now a complete and total loser.

I decided to relax with a bottle of wine tonight, and so I stopped by my local liquor store on the way home from work. They sell a large selection of wines, ranging anywhere from cheap $3.00 bottles, to $100+ bottles of rich bitch crap.

I, not being able to afford top shelf price for a drink that I know I'll have finished the complete bottle of within a couple hours, usually go for say, a larger $7.00 bottle (still pricey compared to Two-Buck Chuck, so I feel I'm splurging).

There's a $7.00 Shiraz I've been content with for a while that I normally would have picked up, but I was in more of a Merlot kind of mood (and who isn't on a Tuesday?). So I picked a Merlot that was right under the Shiraz, and low and behold, it was on sale for $5.00! What a bargain!

I brought it home, sat down, and eagerly grabbed my super-duper brand spankin' new butterfly bottle opener (at least, I think that's the name for them, the kind with the handles that raise as you twist the corkscrew?). Not bothering to unseal the bottle, I stuck the screw in, and pushed it down.

The corkscrew pushed in a little ways, and some metal came up, presumably from the seal. As I twisted, I noticed the screw wasn't going very far, so I pushed harder. A slight brownish cork-looking substance began to push up out of the hole, and I realized I'd better start again. So I did.

This time, the corkscrew pushed in a little... and then went all the way down. Oh christ, I thought, I must have just destroyed the cork! So I took the edge of the screw, cut into the seal, opened it up...

...and revealed a screw-cap underneath. A screw-cap with a large hole in it, jagged plastic and metal surrounding the edges.

Yes, not only did yours truly buy a cheap bottle of wine with a screw-cap... but yours truly also managed to try and open it with a corkscrew.

I am now a complete and total loser.


Blogger Botunda said...

Hahahahah, that's funny cause your retarded. And, I've done the same damn thang.

Fucking screw-caps... Next your going to tell me that beer is going to come in plastic bottles!

7:04 PM  

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