Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Goddamn You, Disney.

So the Pirates of the Carribean is being renovated starting March 6th, and will reopen in June. Okay, no big deal... and hey, they want to make the ride look it's sparklingest in time for the new movie, good for them. The ride seriously needs a cleanup, and a sound and light upgrade can only improve it.

So why am I pissed? Three words: Captain Jack Sparrow.

Yes, these motherfuckers have decided to add Johnny Depp as an animatronic to the ride, fully vocalized, with new music cues surrounding him.

So unnecessary. And so commercial. Dammit, John Lasseter is supposed to be saving the parks... why the hell is he letting this happen?

I'll give them this; if they at least take the food trays away from the women being chased (a stupid PC change from the mid-90's that just looks lame... apparently, it's okay for pirates to steal, murder, and cause random acts of wanton violence, hell it's even okay for them to sell women at an auction! But they better not chase said women around, cause that's WRONG), I won't complain about the presence of Captain Jack. I'll hate it, but I won't complain. Dammit.

Well, that's not completely true, I have one more thing that needs fixing, namely, this:

What's wrong here, you ask? Simple. The pirate ship's sail is down. It's been down for a couple years now. And thanks to this boneheaded idea, one of the most famous hidden Mickeys in the park is GONE! That great, fantastic illusion, where the lead pirate would turn his head, and as he did, the shadow of his hat would form a sillhouette of Mickey Mouse. A great trick, designed by one of the original Imagineers on the project... and gone, thanks to some corporate boneheaded bullshit.

Goddammit. Fix it.


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