Adages To Live By.

- If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, beat the hell out of them for being snobby bitches.

- There's no such thing as a free lunch. Unless, of course, someone gives you lunch without asking for anything in return. In which case lunch becomes hypocritical.

- A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless the two in the bush are just seriously fucking awesome birds.

- Two wrongs don't make a right. They make a wrongwrong.

- That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Unless we're talking about a severe degenerative muscular disease.

- People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Especially when they're stoned themselves.

- Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and as boring as a pity fuck.

- Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Especially wrongwrongs.

- It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. However, according to the religious right, it is easier for a needle to pass through the eye of a camel than for a poor man to enter.